


Stars & Comets

by xMidnightsLullaby



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Angels, Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, dean is an angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 01:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17591771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xMidnightsLullaby/pseuds/xMidnightsLullaby
Summary: They hadn’t been on the same level from the start. Dean had always been stronger, more powerful. But for some reason, they had been inseparable from the first moment, the first time Dean had approached Castiel and called his name. They had been the perfect couple. They had completed each other in every way. But then, they had descended to Earth, possessed their vessels and everything had changed.





	Stars & Comets

**Author's Note:**

> This is a translation of a OS that I wrote about one and a half years ago. I'm not compeletly content with the plot and my style of writing back then, but I wanted to post it here anyways. I hope you enjoy it.  
> The story was inspired by the songs "Stars" and "Watching For Comets" from Skillet.

They had been the perfect couple. They had completed each other in every way. But then, they had descended to Earth, possessed their vessels and everything had changed.

When Castiel woke up, he kept his eyes closed. Thousands of new sensations crashed into him all at once. He heard a breeze in his ears and cars speeding over the wet pavement. He smelled exhaust and other unpleasant things. He sensed the cold gnawing on his clothes and he felt…alone. He needed some time to dare opening his eyes and although he saw so many things for the first time from a short distance – cars, houses, people – the only thing he cared for was the thing he couldn’t see. Dean.

Of course, he was not there. Their vessels didn’t know each other. They probably didn’t even live in the same country. Still, it felt weird that Dean was not by his side. They had been always been together, since the beginning of time.

 

_They hadn’t been on the same level from the start. Dean had always been stronger, more powerful. But for some reason, they had been inseparable from the first moment, the first time Dean had approached Castiel and called his name. Most angels were loners, following God’s orders on their own. The two of them, however, accompanied each other, even if there was no need to. They just felt more comfortable this way. How often had Castiel watched Dean as he placed the stars in the sky at their father’s behest and held them in their place? He knew every single one by its name and its exact location. How often had Dean explained him where they came from and what constellations they formed? Just being by his side, listening to his voice – that was Castiel’s paradise._

Castiel had expected to sense Dean, to instantly know where he was, but he felt nothing. Nothing that would tell him where his friend was. He felt the presence of thousands of angels on Earth, but Dean wasn’t among them. Castiel had to force himself to stay calm. Maybe his vessel hadn’t accepted to be used yet. So he decided to pray, trying to contact him this way, but he didn’t get an answer. Castiel had no idea why he was so worried. Dean was an angel, one of the most powerful he had ever met. Surely, nothing bad had happened to him. He just needed to find him.

Time was a concept, Castiel had never really understood. The elapse of something invisible, untouchable, yet present in a way that brought God’s creation closer to their own mortality with every falling grand of sand in that never ending, bottomless hourglass, had defied his imagination. Even more, he hadn’t understood why their father allocated his children an ending period of time on Earth until he allowed them to return back home. God truly moved in mysterious ways and Castiel didn’t dare to question them.

Quite some time must have passed since he started looking for Dean or at least trying to sense him, as the sun had been rising and setting several times. Its rays coloured they sky in so many beautiful colours. It really was a wonder how their father had made all of this up by himself. Every little detail was contributing to the beauty of His creation. The singing of the birds before dawn, the silent whisper of the wind at night – everything seemed to be well thought through and usually, Castiel would have spent an eternity looking at every animal in detail, listening to all the sounds of nature, but right now, nothing of that mattered. In addition, he had completely forgotten about their true order, the reason why he and Dean had been sent to earth. The only thing important for him was to find his companion.

 

Castiel had roamed around, had questioned other angles, but nobody had heard from Dean. Slowly, he got really worried. It was uncommon for an angel to just disappear. If their vessels weren’t willing to accept them, they would remain in heaven trying to find another human they could use. So Castiel should be able to contact him in some way, but for what felt like an eternity, Dean’s presence had been wiped away. Yet Castiel wasn’t willing to give up. He knew that Dean must be somewhere. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore everything around him, all the sounds, all the sensations, even his own worries. Just that moment, when he tried once more to locate Dean’s grace somewhere, he felt something inside him. Something pulling, gnawing, like a cold breeze. It filled his whole body, twitching his grace, trying to rip it out. If he didn’t knew better, Castiel would have believed, he developed feelings, but that was impossible. Even if he possessed a vessel, nothing about his angelic nature was changed. He didn’t have a soul, so he couldn’t feel any emotions. He was convinced that was he sensed was just an echo, a memory that had loosed from his vessel.

Castiel tried to concentrate and not being distracting by this pulling that got stronger and stronger. He tried to ignore it, but the more he tried the more unbearable it became until it filled him up completely and Castiel felt like he was drowning in it. No air was left around him and although, he didn’t need to breathe, he noticed how he had trouble concentration as if his brain wasn’t able to work anymore. The pressure on his chest increased and just when he thought that he last bit of oxygen was pressed out of his lunges, a piercing pain past through him. Like a lighting, it struck into his body, leaving a burning sensation where it has rushed through. Castiel touched his chest where his heart beat like he had run a marathon and he felt the blood speeding through his veins, but slowly, the pain abated. He had been falling on his knees as his legs hadn’t supported him anymore and he tried to catch his breath. He just opened his eyes, when he felt a touch on his shoulder. Instantly, without looking around, he noticed that he wasn’t at the same place as before.

“Are you alright?” a voice behind him asked. Still too bothered orientate himself, Castiel didn’t get the meaning of the words. Although he was sure that he had never heard that voice before, it seemed peculiar familiar. It was deep and dark, but there was something in it that reminded him of his home in heaven. The sound, that clung to his ears like liquid gold, was usually reserved for a voice of an angel yet this person was definitely human. At least, Castiel couldn’t sense any sign of grace on him. Deep in his thoughts, Castiel hadn’t noticed that the person behind him had knelt down in front of him.

“Can you hear me? Are you alright?”

Just now, Castiel managed to lift his gaze and looked into a pair of green eyes. They weren’t only green, because somewhere behind them there was something. Like a source of golden light, a shimmer surrounded the iris, a shimmer of divine light. To Castiel’s shock, however, they it didn’t shine as bright as they should. The light was dull, like it was detained behind a wall of grey fog, but still, he recognized him. He would recognize him everywhere.

“Dean?” Castiel whispered.

 

_“Do you know why the Corona Australis is my favourite constellation?” Like so often, Dean and Castiel sat on a meadow that reached out for the horizon and despite the darkness around them, it seemed to be filled with life. It was silent around them. Only the distant chirping of the crickets was audible. Castiel looked to his side and watched Dean who was lying on the grass like him and looked into the stars._

_“Honestly,  I don’t know myself. I just liked it at first sight. It reminded me that no matter where you look, no matter who you are, that there’s always something bigger and stronger than we are, you know?”_

_A gentle smiled formed on his lips. “In contrast to his counterpart, the Corona Borealis, there are no myths evolving around it. It’s not as bright and prominent, yet it still exists. Every night, it appears on the sky. I guess that without it’s counterpart, the Corona Borealis would be pretty lonely. It’s a bit like you, Cass. I would be lonely without you, too.”_

The man in front of Castiel looked at him confused. “I’m sorry, but my name’s not Dean. You must mistake me. Although… Sorry, forget about it. Anyways, you can’t stay here like that.”

He took Castiel’s arm and helped him to get up again. The angel examined his helper. He recognized his friend. He was sure it must be Dean. But, for some reason, he latter didn’t recognize him. He didn’t even remember his own name. Another stroke flashed through Castiel, stronger and sharper than before. This time it aimed of his heart as if it wanted to destroy him, as if it wanted to kill something inside him.

“Sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is…Well honestly, I don’t remember. I probably shouldn’t tell this to a stranger, should I? I lost my memory a few days ago. No idea why, though.” The man smiled shyly at Castiel after helping him to his feet. ‘So that’s why he doesn’t recognize me. Something must have went wrong when he possessed his vessel.’

“I’m sorry about that. My name’s Castiel by the way,” he stuttered. His brain had stopped working properly since he had looked into Dean’s eyes. The thought that something was holding his grace captive filled him up and didn’t allow other thoughts. Just slowly, he managed to concentrate on the conversation with the man in front of him who was Dean, but at the same time, he wasn’t.

“Castiel. That’s a beautiful name. What a coincidence that’s Thursday today, isn’t it? I have the feeling that you could be my guardian angel.”

 

_“Do you know what your name means, Cass? It Hebrew and means ‘My cover is God.’ You’re your literally the perfect guardian angel.”_

_Of course, Castiel knew of the meaning of his name, but he loved to listen to Dean’s voice and thoughts, sheltered in darkness while the only light came form the stars above them. The name of an angel was associated with his heavenly quest. Casitel’s duty was to look over the humans on Earth and to take care of them. Especially of those who were born on the fifth day of the week. He didn’t really understand why their father had entrusted him this group, but who was he to judge._

_“If I was born as a human on Earth, I wish I was born on a Thursday.”_

Castiel needed some time to process what the man had just said. Normally, humans didn’t know about the meaning of his name, so he either knew Hebrew, was deeply involved into religion or Dean was still somewhere inside him. There must be a possibility to get him out of his prison. Before he could continue making plans, however, the man in front of him started speaking again.

“I have no idea how I lost my memory. My wife, at least she seems to be my wife, couldn’t explain it to me either. A few days ago, I got up and didn’t remember anything.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. I don’t know you, or I don’t remember that I know you. But I have the feeling that I know you. Something tells me that this is not the first time we’re meeting. Please, Castiel, may I invite you over for a cup of coffee and we talk? I think that you are to only person who can help me.”

The angel didn’t know what to answer. At least, Dean hadn’t lost his boldness. If it was Dean who he was talking. The only thing Castiel was sure of was that he mustn’t Dean let go so easily, now that he had found him. Even though, he didn’t understand how he had teleported to the right place, it only mattered that he was with Dean now. So he nodded, accepting Dean’s quest who smiled at him.

 

For a while, they walked next to each other in silence until they reached a small house. Dean retrieved a key from his jeans, opened the beige-coloured door and lead Castiel into a living room that could have been on the cover of an interior design magazine. The whole room was perfectly tidy. Every single thing, the flowers, the pillows on the sofa, the decoration, everything was standing in its perfect place. Castiel couldn’t help but think that all this perfectness was created to cover up something. A dark secret that the residents wanted to hide from the public.

“Please take a seat, I’ll get us something to drink.”

Castiel nodded, still examining the room. The longer he looked around, the more uncomfortable he felt. Every single object emitted a coldness. Nothing in this room was warm and spread a feeling of home. Even the photos on the wall couldn’t lighten the atmosphere. Castiel took a step forward to take a closer look at them. Most of them depicted Dean’s vessel and his wife. On holidays, with friends, having dinner. Their expressions their happy, but something seemed odd about them.

“That’s quite a lot of pictures, isn’t it? I guess my wife put them up there. I wouldn’t feel comfortable being watched by myself from all angles.”

Dean had come back, holding two steaming cups in his hand and smiling a bit embarrassed. He sat down on one end of the u-shaped sofa and place both cups on the cocktail table.

 

Quite some time later, when Castiel looked outside again, it was already dark. They had really talked for ages. Dean had told him a lot about himself, who he had been before he had forgotten everything, what he had done for a living and how much he disliked this place.

“It just doesn’t feel right, you know? Everything inside me is fighting tooth and nail to not stay here for a minute longer. I would go, if I could. But I can’t. I have no idea who I am. I don’t know the streets outside, I don’t know where I should go. Just now, it’s the first time in days I feel like I could stay here and I’m sure it’s because of you, Castiel.”

The angel tried his best not to blush. It was confusing and a bit exhausting to take care of his body language and to interpret Dean’s. But he could get used to the smile the other man had given him from time to time. It made him feel warm and comfortable – a bit like home. One more, he envied the humans for their ability to express their feelings.

The major part of their conversation, he had just listened, quite similar to their conversations back in heaven. The only difference was that they weren’t lying under the beautiful star-filled sky, but sitting in this creepy living room. He liked his passive role. It was more like his nature to listen to Dean than talking himself. In addition, he loved the feeling that the other’s voice left in his ears. In heaven, there wasn’t something like sounds and voices like humans perceived them. At home, he couldn’t feel Dean’s voice on his skin like now as he had a body. One more thing he envied the humans for. The vibrations and frequencies touched his skin like butterflies and flattered the organs in his ear.

Suddenly, he heard something different that slid uncomfortably between Dean’s deep voice. He noticed a key turning in the lock at the front door, the opening of that same door, the clicking of high heels in the hallway and finally a squeaking voice.

“Michael, I’m…”

The voice that didn’t resemble at all the velvet-like sound of Dean’s. It was causing him to wince as his ears hurt like needles had been pricking him. It didn’t take long and the owner of that dreadful sounds stepped into the living room. In the entrance, a midsized, lean women with auburn-dyed hair was standing. Her face was edgy and wore a sceptical expression. From the first sight, Castiel recognized her as the vessel’s wife. She perfectly fitted into the house. She didn’t seem friendly or welcoming, instead she frowned at the angel as if he would dirty her sofa just by sitting on it. Another thing that confused Castiel was the name she had called Dean. Michael. It was uncomfortable calling him this way, even if it was just in his mind. It somehow felt like he had given up on him, like he had acknowledged that there was nothing left of Dean anymore. And furthermore, Castiel noted that it didn’t fit him at all.

“Michael, darling, don’t you want to introduce me to your visitor,” she turned towards Dean. The angel noticed her sour undertone, although she tried to hide it behind her fake smile. Obviously, she wasn’t too happy about her husband, who didn’t remember her, but had invited a stranger over. Dean’s face turned into stone when he got up and placed a short kiss on her cheek.

“This is Castiel, darling. Castiel, this is my wife Diana.”

The angel got up, too, stepped towards the couple and reached his hand out to Diana like he had observed other humans doing this when they met each other for the first time.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he smiled, even though he didn’t mean a word of it. Her aura was the same as the atmosphere in the house, with the slight difference that her energy was even colder.

With a dismissive gaze, she looked at him before she turned to her husband again.

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to invite guests in your state?” She fondle his hair, making Dean’s face convulse in discomfort for a second. “Or do you remember this guy?”

Confused, Castiel drew his hand back. Why did she talk about him like he wasn’t there? He looked at Dean, but there weren’t any emotions he could read. The latter silently examined his wife like he had to think twice before replying something.

“Alright,” Diana was visibly indignant about not getting an answer, “we will talk about this later. We would like to have dinner now, so I would ask you, Castiel, to leave now. You know where to find the door.”

Although Castiel was not used to read humans, he had been right about Diana. Her character didn’t differ from her aura at all. He wanted to make his way towards the hallway, but before he could take a step, Dean found his voice again and offered him to see him out. The way he said it, didn’t allow any comment from his wife, so she only screw up her nose and left for the kitchen next door.

“I guess you understand know, why I don’t want to be here, do you? Now that you met her. I can’t believe I married somebody like that…”, Dean murmured when they had reached the small front yard. Castiel didn’t know what to reply, so he just examined the other man. Suddenly, he felt the piercing pain in him again and had to supress the urge to reach his hand out to touch Dean.

“Whatsoever,” Dean whispered and scratched his neck, “thank you for coming over. I know it sounds totally stupid, but I think it’s something like fate that we met today.” He paused for a moment until he silently added “I hope it wasn’t the last time.”

Slightly embarrassed he avoided Castiel’s eyes and turned towards the sky instead.

“The stars seem a lot more familiar to me than my wife or my house, more than everything down here.  This is where I feel like home. Right here under the stars…”

Castiel wasn’t sure if he did imagined it, but he had heard Dean adding a silent ‘with you’ before he stepped inside again. Even though these words originated from his mind, the angel felt how his body was filled with a comfortable warmth while his fingers and legs were tingling.

 

 

 

Of course, it hadn’t been the last time they had met each other. On the contrary. From this first fateful meeting, many others had evolved. Since Diana had made her point clear from the first night on, Dean had decided to meet only at night. Once Diana had taken her sleeping pills, nothing would wake her up, not even the apocalypse. So as soon as she had closed her eyes, Dean sneaked outside where Castiel was already waiting for him. At first, they had been walking through the deserted streets that were only illuminated by the lamp lights, yet soon the damp light had bothered them like an uninvited guest was overhearing their conversations. Searching for a place to talk in private, Dean had suggested to leave the town. Far away from any source of light, nobody could disturbed them. How he had managed to drive that car, a black Chevrolet Impala, that was parking in his driveway, without crashing anywhere, Castiel didn’t want to know. Probably, the motoric programs he needed to safely steer it through the streets were stored in Michael’s body.

Now, they were lying on a field, far away from the city and looked into the sky. Even if it wasn’t the first time, Castiel would never get enough from these moments. For the first time since the beginning of time, he could really feel the grass tickling his skin, he could sense the wind blowing through his hair. He could really hear all the sounds of the night. The chirping of the crickets, the howling of the owls. He enjoyed to finally have a body that allowed him to sense, touch and experience God’s creation. Even more, however, he enjoyed lying next to Dean and listening to his voice. In these moments, although it was just for a short while, he was able to forget that Dean couldn’t remember anything. Not heaven, not the angels and not him.

“Do you see these stars over there,” Dean was pointing at a cluster of shining dots just above the horizon. “those belong the a constellation that’s called Corona Australis. Honestly, I have no idea why I know this. I asked Diana, but she’s pretty snippy about such things. She keeps saying that I’m an ordinary auto mechanic. I even searched for books on Astronomy, but I didn’t find anything in our house. But I know there’s something. There’s a reason why I know all those things. Why I even know that this is my favourite constellation. Why I know that I don’t belong here. Why I know that I know you.”

Castiel held his breath. He had the feeling that he could hear Dean’s grace scratching at his vessel. He turned his head to the side and met a pair of green eyes that was examining him. Suddenly, the urge to reach out his hand to feel the skin of the other man in front of him under his fingers came over him. It wasn’t the first time that he desired to find out who his skin felt like. The desire grew with every time they met. Although there was nothing he wanted to do more than touching Dean, he held back. He assumed that it wouldn’t be the right thing, yet his fingers didn’t want to stop tingling.

 

_In Dean’s presence, Castiel had always felt stronger and more powerful. Since he had called him for the first time, Castiel had yearned for his closeness as much as angels were able to experience such feelings. He just didn’t want to miss Dean. How often had he envied the humans for their ability to feel, to sense, to wish, to yearn and to desire. Even now, he was watching them, mesmerized who they were praying for. For themselves. For others. Always hoping that someone would answer them and make their wishes come true. Castiel would have loved to pray to God, too, telling him how happy he was to have Dean and how much he wished to be by his side forever. Yet, it felt presumptuous, even foolish. Who was he to ask for such a thing? He shouldn’t belaud their connection but act like to true solider he was. The same moment, his eyes fell on a young women who was standing in front of another women in her age. In an instant, he recognized her red hair and her shy smile. He had watched her quite often, he had listened to her prayers when she asked for only one person in this world to like her. Eagerly, he followed her, lowering her head while she whispered something to the other woman. Castiel didn’t pay attention to her words, but to the reaction of the blonde girl who seemed to be surprised at first, but soon ran towards the red-headed girl and pulled her into a tight hug. As much as he was shocked at the beginning, her soul started to shine and glow and the angel heard a simple, deep ‘Thank you’._

_“Isn’t it weird how much humans are willing to take just to fall in love?” a well-known voice behind him started talking. He had had no idea how long Dean had been standing there, watching him and listening to his thoughts. “I don’t get why father decided to create something as impractical as feelings and emotions. What do his children get from that? A lot of trouble, I can tell you. But still, I think that he has his reasons to grant his children such a thing while withholding them from us. What do you think, Cass? How would you feel about me if you human?”_

When Castiel met Dean the next time, something about him had changed. The atmosphere between them was tense. Dean, or better Michael seemed tried and exhausted. Nothing about him was shining anymore and the grace inside him seemed to have lost its power. The time on Earth had also affected Castiel. Not only that he had completely ignored their quest, he had to fight his vessel on a daily basis. It wasn’t his former owner who wanted it back. It was Castiel himself who changed. Every day, he became more human. He wasn’t afraid as he knew exactly what was happening to him thanks to his observations. Strictly speaking, he should have known or at least guess that this would happen right from the start.  
He was falling in love with Dean, every second, every breath a little more and the only reason he wasn’t burned by the flames of love was the last bit of grace inside him that reminded him of his angelic nature and that made him hold back from fully giving in to his feelings. He had fallen for Dean, because, although he still didn’t remember his true nature, he didn’t differ from the heavenly servant, Castiel had loved to have by his side. The words he chose, the way he used to think, everything was the same. Castiel enjoyed the tingling, the slight insecurity, the warmth that filled him up when he approached Dean. Every time, he called him by his name, his heart was pacing heavily against his chest. He knew that he didn’t need to be afraid. Just, because it was Dean.

For a while, they sat silently inside that black Impala. The angel noticed that something was wrong, but he was unsure about how to ask. He took a deep breath and whispered into the silence. “What’s wrong with you. I can feel that something’s bothering you. Please, talk to me.”

He didn’t get an answer. Dean’s gaze was still turned towards the windscreen, yet he was rather looking though it. He wasn’t really there.

“Dean? Please…I’m worried about you.” Cautiously, Castiel had reached out his hand and tapped the man next to him on his shoulder. As if a lightning had struck him, Dean drew back and looked at the hand that was still resting on his shoulder, trying to avoid its touch. The angel had to remove his hand, feeling a twitching pain in his heart. He understood that Dean felt uncomfortable being touched out of nowhere, but it hurt anyway. Dean must have noticed his expression, because he took Castiel’s hand into his own.

“I’m sorry, Castiel. I was just in thoughts.” Once more he seemed to space out, considering whether sharing his thoughts with the angel. The whole time, however, he didn’t let go of Castiel’s hand.

“Diana kicked me out this morning. She said that I’m not the man she had married. Not that I wanted to be. She said that I’ve changed, that I wasn’t like myself anymore. She said I wouldn’t love her anymore that my thoughts where with somebody else. I know that this is true. Strictly speaking, I should be thankful that she finally let me go. I just don’t understand why all of this has to happen right now. I still don’t know why I can’t remember anything. I don’t know where should go, you know Castiel? I don’t know where I belong.”

The angel had no idea what to say. So instead of answering, he got out of the car, walked to the driver’s door, opening it and offered Dean his hand. “Follow me.”

 

“I understand how you must feel. Well, I don’t know how it feels like being kicked out of our own home, but I know what it feels like belonging nowhere. I always thought I belonged with my family, my father, my brothers and sisters. But just recently, I realized that there just one…person, I belong to. But I guess, I have lost them and I don’t know if I will ever see them again.”

Once more, they were lying in the high grass, still holding hands, their fingers intertwined. Dean turned his head towards Castiel, examining him with his beautiful green eyes.

“You must have loved them a lot.”

“I still do.” Interesting, how short, how simple the truth could be. The only sad thing about it was that Dean surely didn’t get the true meaning behind these words. The only thing he could to was, holding his had a little tighter, hoping that he would return some day. For a while, they stayed silent, each one surrounded by his own thoughts.

“Did you see that, Castiel? A shooting star! You have to make a wish.”

 

_“Isn’t it kind of ironic that humans have decided to make a wish when one of as falls, don’t you think, Cass? What holds such a huge ray of hope for them, in truth is the end._

_Deep in thoughts, both of them watched their sister who fell down to Earth like the fireball. The comet’s tail left a beautiful glowing trail on the dark sky, only to vanish after a second._

_“I don’t know, Dean. Maybe they are right. Maybe we can fulfil one last dearest wish as we fall. A last good deed. Like a legacy.”_

_Dean stayed silent for a while. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we have to power to give humans some hope for paradise in our last moments. I know what I would wish for, if father would allow us to make one. And you, Cas? What would you wish for?”_

Castiel closed his eyes and tried to move his thoughts away from this memory to the here and now. If he was right back then, now was the time to try. He gathered all the power left inside him and send his prayer to heaven. He waited, although he had no idea what he was waiting for. An answer? Any kind of sign? He waited and waited, but nothing happened. He tried to breathe in and out, but his whole body was tensing when he realized that he would never see Dean again.

“Castiel? Castiel? Are you alright? Hey, talk with me!”

Like it was far, far away, he felt somebody shaking his shoulders and after a few seconds, he opened his eyes. Dean was kneeling in front of him, looking at him worryingly. This expression in his eyes send shivers through the angel’s body. Those eyes that still held the light of heaven captive made his heart break.  Castiel couldn’t stand it anymore. The only thing he wanted was to have Dean by his side again. But his wish hadn’t been fulfilled. His prayer was left unanswered.  Maybe, fallen angels were actually the end and he had to abandon all hope.

“Hey, are you with me again?” They voice he had learned to love pierced through is thoughts. A arm that had cupped his face and caressed his cheek gently, brought him back. Feeling Dean’s skin on his own made his eyes water. Why must God torture him so much? What had he done to finally experience his touch just in the moment he had realized that Dean was gone forever. “Everything’s alright, okay? I’m here.”

‘I’m here.’ Dean had said that once when they were still in heaven. When everything had been alright.

“Hey, please, don’t cry.”

Once more, Castiel had been caught up in his thoughts so much, he hadn’t even noticed that one single tear was rolling down his cheek until Dean wiped it away. Gently, he took his other hand and forced to angel to look at him. Seconds passed, but none of them dared to move. As if his hand was moving on its own, Castiel let it trace the features of the other’s face. He allowed it wander to his temple, along his cheek bone while suppressing the warmth and the tingling that filled his body again. When he reached his lips, the angel noticed that they were as rough and brittle as they looked like, but under his fingers they felt like silk. The urge to give in to his human side grew stronger and stronger. It pulled him, forced him closer and closer to Dean and then, he had clawed his hand into the other’s hair and pulled him close.

He just couldn’t resist. He had had to kiss him. It felt way too good. He finally felt whole again. The sensation of being connected to the one he loved rushed through his veins like fire. He didn’t want to stop. He didn’t want to be alone again. He didn’t the cold to return to his body. But slowly, Dean was moving backwards. Castiel didn’t dare to open his eyes. He didn’t want to see how the other man was looking at him. He didn’t want to be remembered that the true Dean was somewhere far away.

Yet suddenly, he was pulled into a hug. A hug that was more than friendship and simple affection. It was full of gratitude and.. home. He had to return it, being pulled even closer to the body in front of him. They were so close, Castiel could hear Dean’s breath in his ear. It was fast and slightly uncontrolled and then, he heard a single word.

“Cass!”


End file.
